Who Is That Person In The Mirror?

I found myself having to look in the mirror a few days ago, something I normally avoid at all costs. I looked in but did not have a clue who it was looking back at me.

 

The first thing I noticed was my eyes; they had lost the sparkle that was normally there. Then I looked at my neck, only to see I had no neck anymore. My goitre has swollen so much due to my Thyroid Gland not working properly anymore.

 

Then I saw my body and have to admit I cried. I had been told that some of my medications would make me gain weight. It did seem weird as I am hardly eating at the moment. They really were not joking about the weight gain and of course I cannot exercise very much at the moment. The pain makes it slightly hard and when I am outside, I am in my wheelchair and until I can get a stair lift, I am mainly marooned upstairs. So my exercise is walking to and from the bathroom once a day, as I use my commode in my bedroom the rest of the time.

 

So be prepared, something I never was, that some of your medications will change you on the outside, but as long as your mind and voice is still there, that is all that really matters to begin with.

 

I know as long as I have my mind and voice, I will try my hardest to keep talking and hopefully help at least one person and to let them know they do not need to go through anything alone.

Until next time, take Care,

Mrs G!

P.S. Still good news with giving up smoking. “Touch Wood” it will stay this way!!!

When A Little Branch Appears….Hold On!

I have been really down and ill the past couple of weeks, hence why I have not posted as much. Touch wood, however, I think I have hit rock bottom and am starting to climb back up, I am trying not to go too fast, or I may end up crashing back down again.

 

Mr G and  I find ourselves childless for a few days, I think I let go of the I am fine girls honest sign and on the first day I slept on and off all day and night. It did me a lot of good.

 

I don’t know about any of you but my appetite grew legs and left me some time ago now. However, after my long, long sleep, I woke up feeling hungry. This was amazing as it has been so long since I actually wanted to eat. I had some sandwiches around 10am (ish) and then was totally flabbergasted, when around 6.30pm (ish), I again felt hungry, so again I ate. This eating thing is in the very early stages, as it has only happened the past couple of days.

 

I have jumped on to this tiny new branch and am holding on tightly. I really want it to work, for many reasons, one being my tablets may work better and another reason is my bowel may just stop being lazy and work properly again.

 

I am maybe thinking way too fast but just by feeling hungry, which to most people is natural, I can see so many ways it could help me. So I am now clinging for dear life on to this tiny branch, praying it will become stronger, which would make me just that little stronger also.

Take Care

Mrs G 

An Inspirational Man; Giles Duley!

I watched a documentary on Giles Duley last night. I was feeling pretty fed up as I had fallen again and everything ached. However after the first five minutes of the documentary, I was inspired and knew my next blog should be about Giles Duley.

 

He gave up being a fashion photographer, to travel the world and document the stories of the forgotten people. His travelling took him to Afghanistan, to take photos, not just of the injured soldiers but he also planned to take photographs of the injured civilians and enable their stories to hopefully be listened to more.

 

Whilst on foot patrol on one of his last days with the 75^th Cavalry Regiment (United States) he stepped on an IED. From that moment on Giles Duley’s life changed completely, he suffered catastrophic injuries, losing both his legs and his left arm.

 

When he arrived back in Britain, he was put straight away into an intensive care unit. During his time in there he nearly lost his battle to survive on more than one occasion. It took quite a few operations over several months before he could even think about rehabilitation.

He went back to Afghanistan to finish what he started, to meet and photograph civilians who have been caught up in this battle also.

 

The inspiration of this man has happened in many ways. However, to me, it was helping a man keep up trying to walk on his two prosthetic legs. Before the end of the programme, the Afghan civilian was walking faster than Giles.

 

This a link to some of his work. I hope, like me, you find this man amazing with all the pain he must have coped with and maybe still does.

 

Thanks for taking the time to read this

Mrs G.

Mr G’s Salon!!

My husband has learnt to do so many new things since my illness began, he is now, of course perfected the art of laundry, got fed up of my love of washing dishes, so we acquired a dishwasher. The art of folding and hanging his laundry to such a perfect degree, that my second love, ironing, is hardly ever required.

 

Mr G’s cooking in all reality beats mine hands down so damn much. His soup making, stews, roasts, bread making and to top it off his bloody jam making skills, make me so damn jealous.

 

His hunting down bargains while shopping also beat mine I am ashamed to admit. Unless he shops with our eldest daughter, his weekly shopping means I can actually save money!!

 

Now he has yet again excelled at another new talent, Mr G to my utter and total amazement, not only cut my hair, he managed to thin it quite a bit also.

 

Although he has amassed all the above new talents, his biggest and best new talent his being an unpaid carer. He finds this a shock that he is able too care for me. I however never ever doubted he could do this, as I have always trusted in him and please believe me that I have total respect in every unpaid carer.

Take care.

Mrs G.

The Visit!

So here I am sitting, consumed by nerves, because after four years of waiting and trying everything possible to make it happen sooner. Today is finally the day for my first social worker visit,  I just pray Mr G does not tell too many corny jokes.

 

There will be many things to discuss but again I pray that amongst the many things are the two major adaptations to the house!

 

Watching Mr G going around tidying, cleaning and hovering, I feel ashamed, embarrassed and hurt that I can do NOTHING to help him. Right now I feel totally and utterly useless and the lowest of the low.

 

What a surprise she is late and I am now visibly shaking with nerves. One thing I have learnt since becoming ill is you have to wait for everything.

 

Well now she has gone and she was such a lovely, warm, understanding person and wow everything has changed at the Social Work Department. I had to tell her my life story, so she could get to know me before I got ill and could also see if I meet the Social Work Department’s new criteria. Mr G and I were left with a form to fill out and return as soon as possible. Now we have to think of things that will make my life much better than it is right now. Then once she knows which way everything will go, she will come back and visit again and let us know if I meet their criteria. So be prepared for many more posts, I would love for you all to find out exactly what is going to happen also.

 

Until next time, take care

Mrs G 

Changes that can happen to your life.

Before I was ill, I was able to do so much with friends. Going out, helping at my children’s primary school, having coffee with friends. Attending family get togethers, being able to be at celebrations with family and also with friends.

 

 Then slowly, as I could attend less and less gatherings, the visits from family and friends got less and less. Phone calls also dried up as I could not concentrate on the phone more and more.

 

I recently got so excited when my in laws sent an invitation to their Golden Wedding Anniversary, I was so determined I would attend. I bought myself a new dress and hair dye to hide all the grey hair. Sadly I have to admit I will not be able to attend, but I will make sure Mr G and our youngest daughter will be there. I think our eldest daughter is taking a turn at Mummy-sitting.

 

Not being able to attend made me realise how little contact I have with friends and family any more. It is so sad but something I just need to deal with.

 

I have however made some extremely good friends from online gaming. They have known me since I have been ill and since I have gotten worse. They are always there for me, one more than any other. I have also made a new friend through Mr G and would be lost without her at times.

 

So be prepared, however not everyone loses as much as some, you may lose some friends but I know for certain you will make new friends, who may be able to understand and help you managed your pain and how to get through it one day at a time.

 

Until next time, take care

Mrs G