Who Is That Person In The Mirror?


I found myself having to look in the mirror a few days ago, something I normally avoid at all costs. I looked in but did not have a clue who it was looking back at me.

 

The first thing I noticed was my eyes; they had lost the sparkle that was normally there. Then I looked at my neck, only to see I had no neck anymore. My goitre has swollen so much due to my Thyroid Gland not working properly anymore.

 

Then I saw my body and have to admit I cried. I had been told that some of my medications would make me gain weight. It did seem weird as I am hardly eating at the moment. They really were not joking about the weight gain and of course I cannot exercise very much at the moment. The pain makes it slightly hard and when I am outside, I am in my wheelchair and until I can get a stair lift, I am mainly marooned upstairs. So my exercise is walking to and from the bathroom once a day, as I use my commode in my bedroom the rest of the time.

 

So be prepared, something I never was, that some of your medications will change you on the outside, but as long as your mind and voice is still there, that is all that really matters to begin with.

 

I know as long as I have my mind and voice, I will try my hardest to keep talking and hopefully help at least one person and to let them know they do not need to go through anything alone.

Until next time, take Care,

Mrs G!

P.S. Still good news with giving up smoking. “Touch Wood” it will stay this way!!!

Advertisements

Changes that can happen to your life.


Before I was ill, I was able to do so much with friends. Going out, helping at my children’s primary school, having coffee with friends. Attending family get togethers, being able to be at celebrations with family and also with friends.

 

 Then slowly, as I could attend less and less gatherings, the visits from family and friends got less and less. Phone calls also dried up as I could not concentrate on the phone more and more.

 

I recently got so excited when my in laws sent an invitation to their Golden Wedding Anniversary, I was so determined I would attend. I bought myself a new dress and hair dye to hide all the grey hair. Sadly I have to admit I will not be able to attend, but I will make sure Mr G and our youngest daughter will be there. I think our eldest daughter is taking a turn at Mummy-sitting.

 

Not being able to attend made me realise how little contact I have with friends and family any more. It is so sad but something I just need to deal with.

 

I have however made some extremely good friends from online gaming. They have known me since I have been ill and since I have gotten worse. They are always there for me, one more than any other. I have also made a new friend through Mr G and would be lost without her at times.

 

So be prepared, however not everyone loses as much as some, you may lose some friends but I know for certain you will make new friends, who may be able to understand and help you managed your pain and how to get through it one day at a time.

 

Until next time, take care

Mrs G

Time to get back in the saddle however I feel!


It seems to me after all this time, getting worse, then slightly better and back to worse again, I really need and desperately want to get back to my friends and my biggest distraction therapy, playing World of Warcraft.

I know that rather than rushing it and playing as I used to do, I need to start slowly and work my way back to my normal playing hours.

Just in case you do not know about distraction therapy, click on the words and it will take you to a post all about it.

In a couple of days I am going to post again and let you know how I am getting on. Whether I am right or not about playing again.

I know the amazing guild, Vanguard of Valor, has quite a few new players, so I have to admit I am very, very nervous about going back. I just need to stop being silly, hopefully, and just get on with it.

Talk Soon

Mrs G!

You May Not Believe This But I Count Myself Lucky!


Yes I suffer massive pain, take countless medications, am a prisoner in my own home but I still count myself lucky. I look around at everything that is happening around the world and I could be in many situations that are worse than the situation I am in.

I could live in Syria and be surrounded by civil war; never knowing what is happening day to day.

I could be one of our many soldiers or civilian workers in Afghanistan.

I could be living in Iraq, amidst countless car bombings and suicide bombers.

I could be a homeless person anywhere around the world, never knowing when or if I would eat that day or get lucky and get a place overnight in a shelter.

But I am none of those things, I am a person who needs twenty-four hour care and am lucky that my husband gave up his job to become my full time carer and am lucky that all my children at one point have been young carers for me, at this moment our youngest daughter is filling this post.

I never ever wanted to be this ill and requiring care but I am, and I am extremely lucky.

As Carer’s Week draws to a close, I would like to thank my husband and children but also every unpaid carer whether they are young carers or a full time carer. We are all lucky and extremely grateful to have you and the outstanding care you give.

The Long Lonely Nights!


I am writing this at 6am after 5 horrible pain filled nights and I suddenly realised there must be so many people who are in the same boat as me. Bloody Hell, sleepless nights are bad enough for everyone, pain or no pain.

I managed to get to sleep the past 5 nights, but within an hour or two, the pain has woken me and I know there is no way I will get any more sleep. I try my hardest to do things to keep my mind off pain, but it seems so much harder, for me anyway, to cope when no one else is awake.

I think my problem would not seem as bad if I could play WoW, but at the moment I can barely cope concentrating on writing this. Maybe I should take the bull by the horns and just play no matter how bad I do it.

Mr G always tells me to waken him if I am having a tough time but I just cannot bring myself to do that. He does so much during the day that he needs to sleep at night. No matter how I feel I can never bring myself to waken him.

If anyone reading this has any good suggestions on making that long lonely night go quicker I would love to hear them and I will add them to this post. Sorry about my little rant but it has helped me get a weight off my shoulders.