Who Is That Person In The Mirror?


I found myself having to look in the mirror a few days ago, something I normally avoid at all costs. I looked in but did not have a clue who it was looking back at me.

 

The first thing I noticed was my eyes; they had lost the sparkle that was normally there. Then I looked at my neck, only to see I had no neck anymore. My goitre has swollen so much due to my Thyroid Gland not working properly anymore.

 

Then I saw my body and have to admit I cried. I had been told that some of my medications would make me gain weight. It did seem weird as I am hardly eating at the moment. They really were not joking about the weight gain and of course I cannot exercise very much at the moment. The pain makes it slightly hard and when I am outside, I am in my wheelchair and until I can get a stair lift, I am mainly marooned upstairs. So my exercise is walking to and from the bathroom once a day, as I use my commode in my bedroom the rest of the time.

 

So be prepared, something I never was, that some of your medications will change you on the outside, but as long as your mind and voice is still there, that is all that really matters to begin with.

 

I know as long as I have my mind and voice, I will try my hardest to keep talking and hopefully help at least one person and to let them know they do not need to go through anything alone.

Until next time, take Care,

Mrs G!

P.S. Still good news with giving up smoking. “Touch Wood” it will stay this way!!!

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Time To Stop……Please Wish Me Luck!


I have smoked for over 25 years, only stopping when I was pregnant. I always managed to slip back to smoking after my babies were born, even though I tried hard not to. I also managed to stop smoking about six months ago but when my pain got worse, I again slipped back to smoking.

 

I have finally realised that I really want to stop and waiting for my pain to lessen is a bit futile. So, I have taken the bull by the horns, I have ordered an electronic cigarette kit and I have a really good feeling, that this time I will actually do it, I will manage to stop smoking.

 

So the kit arrived two days ago, I have been getting used to the electronic cigarette, so still have been smoking the normal ones, although a lot less. I have been so surprised how easy it has been getting used to it and have not enjoyed smoking real cigarettes at all anymore.

 

I am about to smoke my last cigarette as I post today’s blog. I am 75% sure that this time, pain being high or not, I can give up smoking and I will put 110% work into making sure I do give up.

 

You may think this a strange post, but I am sure there are other disabled people, like me, in a lot of pain. However, they want to stop smoking but are worried like me, how they will cope with the pain they are in. Maybe by following how I cope with giving up will help.

 

I will add a small paragraph at the end of any future posts to let everyone know I am getting along. So here it goes, it’s 9.15am, Sunday, 11 August 2013 and I have just given up smoking.

Until next time, take care.

Mrs G!

 

Should we trust our Gp’s?


I thought my Gps were two female Doctors who job shared. I asked for these doctors especially and was assured they both would be named as my full time Doctors’.

 

 

However I have recently learnt that my named doctor is not the doctors I see but some doctor, whom I know of, but have not seen him in over 5 years. It gets worse, it seems that this doctor not only receives all the reports sent to my Gps’ but also writes all the reports asked for by many different agencies.

 

 

How on earth can I trust this doctor to write a true report about me when I have not seen him in ages and why do reports about me get sent to him to read?

 

Since I have started to write this blog I have to admit I feel braver. So I am going to write to another doctor within the same practise and ask that he be not only my named doctor but the only doctor, were possible, that I see.

 

I am so upset by finding this out that if the doctor I ask, cannot take on any new patients, I think I will have no other choice but to leave our practise and join the other Health Centre in my town.

 

So please, double check that your Gp is the one that all reports about you and that all reports asked for are written by the main doctor you see or at least one that knows you!

 

Take care

Mrs G.

 

The Visit!


So here I am sitting, consumed by nerves, because after four years of waiting and trying everything possible to make it happen sooner. Today is finally the day for my first social worker visit,  I just pray Mr G does not tell too many corny jokes.

 

There will be many things to discuss but again I pray that amongst the many things are the two major adaptations to the house!

 

Watching Mr G going around tidying, cleaning and hovering, I feel ashamed, embarrassed and hurt that I can do NOTHING to help him. Right now I feel totally and utterly useless and the lowest of the low.

 

What a surprise she is late and I am now visibly shaking with nerves. One thing I have learnt since becoming ill is you have to wait for everything.

 

Well now she has gone and she was such a lovely, warm, understanding person and wow everything has changed at the Social Work Department. I had to tell her my life story, so she could get to know me before I got ill and could also see if I meet the Social Work Department’s new criteria. Mr G and I were left with a form to fill out and return as soon as possible. Now we have to think of things that will make my life much better than it is right now. Then once she knows which way everything will go, she will come back and visit again and let us know if I meet their criteria. So be prepared for many more posts, I would love for you all to find out exactly what is going to happen also.

 

Until next time, take care

Mrs G 

You May Not Believe This But I Count Myself Lucky!


Yes I suffer massive pain, take countless medications, am a prisoner in my own home but I still count myself lucky. I look around at everything that is happening around the world and I could be in many situations that are worse than the situation I am in.

I could live in Syria and be surrounded by civil war; never knowing what is happening day to day.

I could be one of our many soldiers or civilian workers in Afghanistan.

I could be living in Iraq, amidst countless car bombings and suicide bombers.

I could be a homeless person anywhere around the world, never knowing when or if I would eat that day or get lucky and get a place overnight in a shelter.

But I am none of those things, I am a person who needs twenty-four hour care and am lucky that my husband gave up his job to become my full time carer and am lucky that all my children at one point have been young carers for me, at this moment our youngest daughter is filling this post.

I never ever wanted to be this ill and requiring care but I am, and I am extremely lucky.

As Carer’s Week draws to a close, I would like to thank my husband and children but also every unpaid carer whether they are young carers or a full time carer. We are all lucky and extremely grateful to have you and the outstanding care you give.

This is difficult for me to write!


It is difficult for me writing this, as I am the person who is cared for by an unpaid carer. As you all know I am Mrs G, and what you don’t know is that I am disabled. Mr G, my amazing hubby is my unpaid carer. I literally could not manage without him and I have just realised I have not thought what would have happened to me if he had decided to leave.   I realise how very, very lucky I am.  Mr G does everything in the house, he cooks, cleans, shops walks the dog, empties and fills the dishwasher and also cares for me. If I have an appointment with my doctor or the pain clinic, he has to help me dress for that. Help me down to the car and then into the wheelchair and then off to see either our GP or my Consultant.  When back home again, the fun begins, we have the worst stairs ever, they cannot even fit a stair lift as they are so steep and the ledge is so very small. Climbing back up them after being out is not just bad, it’s horrific. But Mr G helps by telling me how well I am doing and if I am finding it too hard he helps by pushing on my bum, he does say climbing the stairs is horrible for me but has it perks for him.

He helps me change into my pj’s and at the moment I have bladder problems so I have to wear incontinence pants which he also has to help me put on. Don’t get me wrong, as I have said, I could not manage without him but I hate what he has to do sometimes. To begin with I could not even pee with him in the bathroom and I still cannot go for a number two with him there. Mr G has to  help me wash and when all that is done he helps me back into bed and it’s almost as if I make a switch and it’s my husband there and I can get cuddles and kisses, depending on his mood and mine. Mr G is not a moodie man but if you are woken pretty much every night then you will not be in the best of moods either. I try my hardest not to waken him but then if I have a wee trip and hurt myself, it makes it harder on him than if I had just asked for help to begin with. Well that is what he tells me.

What I have written above only scratches the surface and I will go into greater detail over my next few posts. Mr G takes care of the house, the dog, our daughters then me. He is paid an allowance for caring for me but in all honesty it’s an insult. It is time all unpaid carer’s are heard and cared for themselves. If I can only get one person to see what they have to do then I will be happy.

In all my other posts I will be open and honest as to how I am coping and if I have found any ways to help me cope with the pain.